Week 1: Reality
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If you missed week 1 never fear.
Click on the YouTube video to the right and catch up now! The notes from the week are below and an outline of the homework is at the bottom of this page. If you just want the homework written out or the wheel of life tool scroll straight to the bottom. If you are here for the course notes, then start reading from the top at overall principles. Thanks for joining us on the journey to extraordinary. |
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Overall principles
The start of the course set out some of the overall principles and key ideas which the following weeks will build on.
Here are some of the top principles and key ideas from week 1
Start where you are
Change doesn't happen from a place in the future, it doesn't happen in the past, it starts right where you are now. The first step to changing and creating things is to acknowledge where you are right now and accept it. On a journey to financial independence, we have to first work out where your finances are currently. On a journey to health, we first look at where you are right now. The first step on the journey towards extraordinary is to acknowledge and accept where you are starting from.
There will be ups and downs
On this journey over the next 5 weeks there will be ups and down. There will be highs and lows. Things Katie, Alan and Simon (or other participants) say many get to you. Expect there to be highs and lows of motivation and energy. Stick with it. Nothing extraordinary was built easily.
If it was easy everyone would do it
If it was easy to get to financial independence everyone would be living their dream life. If it was easy to build the life of your dreams everyone would be doing it. When the going gets tough Katie and I have to remind ourselves that "if it was easy everyone would be doing this". If you find the course tough at any point, remind yourself of that.
Everything you want in life is outside your comfort zone - otherwise you would already have it.
If you were comfortable getting the job of your dreams, building your life as you want it or creating a business then you would just do it. The reason we don't is it is a challenge, it is uncomfortable.
What this means is you need to step out of your comfort zone to get where you want to go. We are going to have to get uncomfortable together! If you are super comfortable throughout the course and nothing comes up for you at all then you probably aren't pushing yourself enough.
Here are some of the top principles and key ideas from week 1
Start where you are
Change doesn't happen from a place in the future, it doesn't happen in the past, it starts right where you are now. The first step to changing and creating things is to acknowledge where you are right now and accept it. On a journey to financial independence, we have to first work out where your finances are currently. On a journey to health, we first look at where you are right now. The first step on the journey towards extraordinary is to acknowledge and accept where you are starting from.
There will be ups and downs
On this journey over the next 5 weeks there will be ups and down. There will be highs and lows. Things Katie, Alan and Simon (or other participants) say many get to you. Expect there to be highs and lows of motivation and energy. Stick with it. Nothing extraordinary was built easily.
If it was easy everyone would do it
If it was easy to get to financial independence everyone would be living their dream life. If it was easy to build the life of your dreams everyone would be doing it. When the going gets tough Katie and I have to remind ourselves that "if it was easy everyone would be doing this". If you find the course tough at any point, remind yourself of that.
Everything you want in life is outside your comfort zone - otherwise you would already have it.
If you were comfortable getting the job of your dreams, building your life as you want it or creating a business then you would just do it. The reason we don't is it is a challenge, it is uncomfortable.
What this means is you need to step out of your comfort zone to get where you want to go. We are going to have to get uncomfortable together! If you are super comfortable throughout the course and nothing comes up for you at all then you probably aren't pushing yourself enough.
The Extraordinary belongs to those that create it.
"The Extraordinary belongs to those that create it" was said by one of the characters as I watched The Big Short on a flight and it struck me so hard. Of course, the extraordinary belongs to those that create it, they don't just hand it out! No one came to my school asking if I would like an extraordinary life and handed them out.
This inspired me to start thinking; "if I want an extraordinary life then I am going to have to build it. And what even is an extraordinary life?"
This one thing sent me on a 5-year journey researching how you build the life of your dreams. From defining extraordinary for you, taking the first actions to following through and delivering your version.
Extraordinary means something different to every one of us
The thing that makes this world so rich and interesting is that each and every one of us has a different definition of what extraordinary is. The example that we always use is "What is the perfect breakfast?" When we asked that on the course last night there were so many different answers. To my friends in the UK and I it is Breakfast Pizza, when I am travelling it is eggs benedict (which Katie doesn't enjoy!)
Extraordinary means something different to every single one of us and in week 2 we are going to start to work out what your version of extraordinary is.
The true definition of living an extraordinary life
Katie pointed out as we wrote and developed the course that the true definition of living an extraordinary life is living the life you actually want to live. Very few people do that, mostly people follow the path laid out by their parents, they do what society expects of them, they become something that they don't want to be in order to please others.
When Alan was running this course in Greece a lady stopped him and said she didn't want a goal. She just wanted a new dining room table and dinner each night with her kids.
This made me think three thoughts:
Let's build our version of extraordinary.
This inspired me to start thinking; "if I want an extraordinary life then I am going to have to build it. And what even is an extraordinary life?"
This one thing sent me on a 5-year journey researching how you build the life of your dreams. From defining extraordinary for you, taking the first actions to following through and delivering your version.
Extraordinary means something different to every one of us
The thing that makes this world so rich and interesting is that each and every one of us has a different definition of what extraordinary is. The example that we always use is "What is the perfect breakfast?" When we asked that on the course last night there were so many different answers. To my friends in the UK and I it is Breakfast Pizza, when I am travelling it is eggs benedict (which Katie doesn't enjoy!)
Extraordinary means something different to every single one of us and in week 2 we are going to start to work out what your version of extraordinary is.
The true definition of living an extraordinary life
Katie pointed out as we wrote and developed the course that the true definition of living an extraordinary life is living the life you actually want to live. Very few people do that, mostly people follow the path laid out by their parents, they do what society expects of them, they become something that they don't want to be in order to please others.
When Alan was running this course in Greece a lady stopped him and said she didn't want a goal. She just wanted a new dining room table and dinner each night with her kids.
This made me think three thoughts:
- A new dining room table is a goal.
- Diner each night with your family is extraordinary in this day and age.
- Deciding what you want and then making it happen on your own is extraordinary.
Let's build our version of extraordinary.
The life plan
Why don't people build an extraordinary life? Because they follow the life plan which has been handed down from generation to generation as the root to happiness and success. People think that getting good grades, getting a good job, buying a big house, getting a bigger car is the route to happiness. We have been trained that consumerism and spending leads to happiness. People tend to follow this standard life plan without thinking for themselves what they want. What do you want?
We typically do what we think will lead to success, we do what our parents want us to do, what society trains us to do, whilst we are suppressing what we actually want. It is hard to stand up to society and stand out.
Katie and I were told to buy as big a house as we could when we were first buying - to stretch ourselves. When we bought a small 2-bedroom flat we were asked when we were going to upgrade to a "proper" house. The pressure to follow the path comes from well-meaning family and friends, well-meaning people that want to help us be successful and dole out the advice before they even understand our goals.
Most people follow the standard life plan without ever considering the alternatives and then making a conscious choice. If you want to follow the standard life plan, and you do it because you CHOOSE it, then, I applaud you. If you have followed it because it was the default option, then I want to inspire you to think for yourself and make a conscious choice what you would like life to be like.
Just because everyone says that the route to happiness is X doesn't mean it is the best route for you or will work for you. Katie and I actively did the opposite to most people. I avoided business plans and debt when starting my business. We bought a small flat and never upgraded, we avoid lifestyle inflation and focused on creating the life we wanted to create.
But this isn't always the easy path
Why don't people build an extraordinary life? Because they follow the life plan which has been handed down from generation to generation as the root to happiness and success. People think that getting good grades, getting a good job, buying a big house, getting a bigger car is the route to happiness. We have been trained that consumerism and spending leads to happiness. People tend to follow this standard life plan without thinking for themselves what they want. What do you want?
We typically do what we think will lead to success, we do what our parents want us to do, what society trains us to do, whilst we are suppressing what we actually want. It is hard to stand up to society and stand out.
Katie and I were told to buy as big a house as we could when we were first buying - to stretch ourselves. When we bought a small 2-bedroom flat we were asked when we were going to upgrade to a "proper" house. The pressure to follow the path comes from well-meaning family and friends, well-meaning people that want to help us be successful and dole out the advice before they even understand our goals.
Most people follow the standard life plan without ever considering the alternatives and then making a conscious choice. If you want to follow the standard life plan, and you do it because you CHOOSE it, then, I applaud you. If you have followed it because it was the default option, then I want to inspire you to think for yourself and make a conscious choice what you would like life to be like.
Just because everyone says that the route to happiness is X doesn't mean it is the best route for you or will work for you. Katie and I actively did the opposite to most people. I avoided business plans and debt when starting my business. We bought a small flat and never upgraded, we avoid lifestyle inflation and focused on creating the life we wanted to create.
But this isn't always the easy path
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There is an amazing scene in the film The Matrix where the hero Neo is taken out of the matrix and offered a choice. He can take the blue pill and go back to "normal life", the easy path, being in a job he doesn't love, feeling unfulfilled and lost or he can take the red pill and step out of the matrix (the standard life plan) and take a harder, more challenging route but in the longer term more rewarding.
We all have a choice of how to lead our life, and you get to choose if you take the harder path or not. Creating an extraordinary life, standing out is not easy. It can be one of the most rewarding things you can do but it comes with challenges and difficulties |
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The first big question of the course is: Are you willing to do what it takes to build the life you want? Are you willing to commit to doing the work, doing the exercises, paying the price up front (not money, instead, time and energy) to create the life you want to lead?
A value is something that is important to you. We all have different things we value and these things, this list of values (which is not always conscious) drives our actions, behaviours and choices.
The reason we have started the course with values is because values are your internal compass that tells you that you are going in the right direction, or not. If you don't know what is important to you then how can you know if you are going in the right direction. If you have strong values and you know yourself well then decision making becomes simpler and it is easier to stick to your guns, stand out and stay strong under pressures.
As you make choices going forwards about the direction of your life well-meaning family members will ask you, "are you sure?" They will doubt you as you make choices they wouldn't. If you know why you are doing it and know what is important to you then you will be able to follow your path.
Getting clear on your values will help so much throughout the rest of the course and is a critical exercise.
The reason we have started the course with values is because values are your internal compass that tells you that you are going in the right direction, or not. If you don't know what is important to you then how can you know if you are going in the right direction. If you have strong values and you know yourself well then decision making becomes simpler and it is easier to stick to your guns, stand out and stay strong under pressures.
As you make choices going forwards about the direction of your life well-meaning family members will ask you, "are you sure?" They will doubt you as you make choices they wouldn't. If you know why you are doing it and know what is important to you then you will be able to follow your path.
Getting clear on your values will help so much throughout the rest of the course and is a critical exercise.
Incongruence
Incongruence is when your actions don't match your values, beliefs or identity. The three examples we have of incongruence on the course were:
Chris Andrews started a fascinating thread in the Facebook Group about incongruence and seems to suffer with the same one I have suffered with over the years. Lots of people have been adding the ones they want to work on there. Click here to go straight to the post, if you are already a member of the group.
How do you spot incongruence?
If you struggle to get yourself to do what you know you need to do, then you are incongruent. If you feel torn between what you "should" do and what you "want" to do, then you are incongruent. If you say that building your business is important and then can't motivate yourself to do it, then incongruence exists in your life.
The first step to solving incongruence on this level is to get clear on what your values are and then we can look at whether your actions match them.
WARNING: Be careful this week as you might start to spot other people being incongruent and be tempted to call them out on it. So many people tell me they want to build a business and then when I give them five ideas on how to get going without debt, they do the opposite to what I suggest. They don't want to go through the hard process of putting in the time and the effort, they want to take a shortcut by borrowing money.
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Be careful calling people out, they may not like it. Spot it, think about it and learn from what you notice.
Incongruence is when your actions don't match your values, beliefs or identity. The three examples we have of incongruence on the course were:
- Saying family is important and then staying late at work all the time. Saying one thing, then doing the opposite.
- Saying saving and finances are important to you and then blowing it all on a Black Friday sale or weekend "blow out". We had so many examples of this on the Rebel Finance School course.
- Saying that health is important to you and then sitting on the couch and watching Netflix or ordering a big fat juicy burger every time you go out! This is the one I (Alan) have repeatedly faltered with throughout my life.
Chris Andrews started a fascinating thread in the Facebook Group about incongruence and seems to suffer with the same one I have suffered with over the years. Lots of people have been adding the ones they want to work on there. Click here to go straight to the post, if you are already a member of the group.
How do you spot incongruence?
If you struggle to get yourself to do what you know you need to do, then you are incongruent. If you feel torn between what you "should" do and what you "want" to do, then you are incongruent. If you say that building your business is important and then can't motivate yourself to do it, then incongruence exists in your life.
The first step to solving incongruence on this level is to get clear on what your values are and then we can look at whether your actions match them.
WARNING: Be careful this week as you might start to spot other people being incongruent and be tempted to call them out on it. So many people tell me they want to build a business and then when I give them five ideas on how to get going without debt, they do the opposite to what I suggest. They don't want to go through the hard process of putting in the time and the effort, they want to take a shortcut by borrowing money.
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Be careful calling people out, they may not like it. Spot it, think about it and learn from what you notice.
Your Homework this week is to work out your values, as we will use this as the compass to tell us if we are heading in the right direction for the rest of the course.
Here is the process Katie and I use when we work on our values, which we review and revise regularly:
When doing this exercise different challenges can come up. So, if you have a problem then post it in the Facebook group as it is guaranteed other people have hit the same problem you have! A problem shared is a problem that we can ALL solve together.
Here is the process Katie and I use when we work on our values, which we review and revise regularly:
- Write a list or journal about "what is important to you"
You can do this in many different ways. Here are two methods that have worked for us- Journalling. Open a notebook, OneNote or blank page and write at the top "What is important to me?" Write and write until you run out. Then write the questions and go again.
- Post-it Note (or sticky note) method. Take a set of Post-it Notes. Ask yourself the question "What is important to me?" and write one on a post it notes and then stick it to the wall. Keep asking the question until you have gotten everything that is important to you out of your head and onto the wall.
- Group the things that are important to you into categories. For example, I wrote fitness, diet, exercise, running with Katie, energy, vitality and then I grouped them all under the category health. At this stage we are looking to get down to a short list of the MOST important things in your life. Marvel movies didn't quite make it to my top list although it was close.
- Once you have your top 5-8 then it is time to rank them and put them in order. The order matters as you are stating if you had a choice which one would you choose. Katie and I either use Post-it Notes where we can move them up and down and ask each other "is it this value or this value which is most important?" or we use this free ranking tool online which helps make it easier.
When doing this exercise different challenges can come up. So, if you have a problem then post it in the Facebook group as it is guaranteed other people have hit the same problem you have! A problem shared is a problem that we can ALL solve together.
Parts of your life are already extraordinary. When we asked you on the course what was already extraordinary about your life you wrote, family, friends, work and much more. There are many things in your life that already work well, or you want to do more of.
We don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. The first step in creating the life you want is evaluation and considering the different areas of your life, as some of it might already be working well!
Katie and I did this exercise in August as we both had a general feeling of unrest. We knew something was wrong, but we didn't know exactly what. We got the post it notes out and did a current reality exercise. On the wall we put a big + and a big - and then we said what we loved about our life and what wasn't working.
We used the areas of life to help us to think through all aspects of our life
We don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. The first step in creating the life you want is evaluation and considering the different areas of your life, as some of it might already be working well!
Katie and I did this exercise in August as we both had a general feeling of unrest. We knew something was wrong, but we didn't know exactly what. We got the post it notes out and did a current reality exercise. On the wall we put a big + and a big - and then we said what we loved about our life and what wasn't working.
We used the areas of life to help us to think through all aspects of our life
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The key to this exercise is to do it without blame, without judgement and just accepting the way things are. If I had got annoyed and said "GRRR, this area is bad Katie" then we wouldn't have been able to have an honest conversation, Katie would have shut down and it could have ended badly.
I owned that my health was not where I wanted it to be, I owned that it was my fault and we got on and explored the areas of our life. Before you can move on, you have to own that wherever you are in life, it is down to your choices. Even if, currently, you are somewhere you do not want to be, it is because you have not made the choice to change the situation, as difficult as that may seem. |
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You can do this exercise in all aspects of your life; on your own, with your family, with your partner or with your business team. It is HUGELY powerful.
The key first step is to think through your life, what is working and what isn't. After you have been through that you can look for key insights that you want to focus on. Katie and I both separately choose three items from our Post-it Notes on the wall. One positive that we wanted to build on, one negative that we wanted to change and one wildcard (whatever we felt was most important).
The interesting thing that happened for us in Argentina when we did this exercise was, we choose the same three things. Health, Confidence and Fun. The step that we are going to show you in week 2 of the course is how to turn those insights into a juicy question and then come up with ideas of how to change or solve it.
The current reality exercise is the first step in taking control of your life. You have to understand what is already going on with your life rather than just putting a Band-Aid on it with a new focus or project.
I have coached many people through this exercise with life-changing results. The important thing is to take a long, hard non-judgemental look at your current reality. It is only from a position of really understanding our world that we can see how to create change.
During the course we used a spreadsheet that Katie and Simon designed called the wheel of life tool. You can use this to rate each area of your life and then write notes about what is working or not. You could do this exercise with Post-it Notes on the wall (my preferred method), or you could do it in a notebook, OneNote or other format, whichever you find works for you.
The key first step is to think through your life, what is working and what isn't. After you have been through that you can look for key insights that you want to focus on. Katie and I both separately choose three items from our Post-it Notes on the wall. One positive that we wanted to build on, one negative that we wanted to change and one wildcard (whatever we felt was most important).
The interesting thing that happened for us in Argentina when we did this exercise was, we choose the same three things. Health, Confidence and Fun. The step that we are going to show you in week 2 of the course is how to turn those insights into a juicy question and then come up with ideas of how to change or solve it.
The current reality exercise is the first step in taking control of your life. You have to understand what is already going on with your life rather than just putting a Band-Aid on it with a new focus or project.
I have coached many people through this exercise with life-changing results. The important thing is to take a long, hard non-judgemental look at your current reality. It is only from a position of really understanding our world that we can see how to create change.
During the course we used a spreadsheet that Katie and Simon designed called the wheel of life tool. You can use this to rate each area of your life and then write notes about what is working or not. You could do this exercise with Post-it Notes on the wall (my preferred method), or you could do it in a notebook, OneNote or other format, whichever you find works for you.
Wheel of life tool |
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Here is the wheel of life tool. Feel free to download and use it for the current reality exercise.
This brings us to more homework. Here is what we are asking you to do to prepare for week 2 of the course. It is your life you are working to design, and we hope you are putting the effort into showing yourself and the universe that you are important.
This brings us to more homework. Here is what we are asking you to do to prepare for week 2 of the course. It is your life you are working to design, and we hope you are putting the effort into showing yourself and the universe that you are important.
Areas of life
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When working on our lives Katie and I use 9 different areas to break down our world. Sometimes, it is too broad to think about your life as a whole so, this will help you to gain insight and make progress on individual areas. The areas are:
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Use these areas as prompts as you go through your current reality and ask what is working and what isn't working in each of the areas!
Homework
To get the most out of this course you must do the homework. We will be building each week on the tasks we set you. If you took the red pill during the first session, be aligned and start the homework today. Ditch that extra episode of Netflix and work on YOU instead. You'll thank yourself later!
You can do the current reality exercise in one of three different ways. Pick which one you fancy and start or try a couple of them, take action and if you don't enjoy it, try a different way:
The final step is to pick the top three insights you have from doing the exercise. If there are two or more of you working on this then individually pick your top + / - and wildcard and compare. If you are doing it on your own then pick one positive, one negative and then one wildcard which is most important to you.
Bring this along next week and we will work on the next step with you.
3. Energy exercise - The final exercise for the week which will add into your current reality is to see what activities, meeting etc. you do that gives you energy and what leaves you with less energy than you started. What we are doing in this exercise is using how we feel after a phone call or meeting to understand whether it lights us up or sucks the energy straight out of us.
As you do this, please be specific. Don't just write all meetings take my energy as I am sure there are finer subtleties such as who the meeting was with, where it was, how it was set up, etc. We are looking to get an insight into where in our lives things are working for us or against us.
One way that worked for me is to keep a little journal of what I did and then note down if I felt more alive after it or less alive. Give it a go. This could bring all sorts of insights into your life that we, or more accurately, you can reflect upon to choose how to create your extraordinary life.
That is the Homework. It might sound like a lot, after all it is your life we are working on, this is no small thing. If you can't find the energy or time to work on your life this week then how can we help you to improve things?
Let's do this - you might secretly have fun along the way.
If you have ANY challenges or problems along the way, please tell us in the Facebook Group and I am sure we and the group can figure out something together.
Thanks for being part of the group and joining this journey to create an extraordinary life.
Love
Katie, Alan and Simon
- Values. Come up with a clear list of 5 to 8 values. See the explanation above for how to do this.
Or watch the explanation on YouTube - Current reality exercise. Where are you now? Using the life areas listed above as prompts and think about: (Read here or watch on YouTube)
- What's working?
- What isn't working?
- What frustrates you?
You can do the current reality exercise in one of three different ways. Pick which one you fancy and start or try a couple of them, take action and if you don't enjoy it, try a different way:
- Post-it Note method - get the Post-it Notes as described above and start writing
- Wheel of life tool - download the spreadsheet and make the +/- notes next to each life area
- Journalling / notebook - divide the page in two and write the +/- notes on each half
The final step is to pick the top three insights you have from doing the exercise. If there are two or more of you working on this then individually pick your top + / - and wildcard and compare. If you are doing it on your own then pick one positive, one negative and then one wildcard which is most important to you.
Bring this along next week and we will work on the next step with you.
3. Energy exercise - The final exercise for the week which will add into your current reality is to see what activities, meeting etc. you do that gives you energy and what leaves you with less energy than you started. What we are doing in this exercise is using how we feel after a phone call or meeting to understand whether it lights us up or sucks the energy straight out of us.
As you do this, please be specific. Don't just write all meetings take my energy as I am sure there are finer subtleties such as who the meeting was with, where it was, how it was set up, etc. We are looking to get an insight into where in our lives things are working for us or against us.
One way that worked for me is to keep a little journal of what I did and then note down if I felt more alive after it or less alive. Give it a go. This could bring all sorts of insights into your life that we, or more accurately, you can reflect upon to choose how to create your extraordinary life.
That is the Homework. It might sound like a lot, after all it is your life we are working on, this is no small thing. If you can't find the energy or time to work on your life this week then how can we help you to improve things?
Let's do this - you might secretly have fun along the way.
If you have ANY challenges or problems along the way, please tell us in the Facebook Group and I am sure we and the group can figure out something together.
Thanks for being part of the group and joining this journey to create an extraordinary life.
Love
Katie, Alan and Simon
