Chapter 2: We are where we are; let's build from here
Building, designing and coming up with ideas for how you want to live your life is the exciting bit. It is where the juice is. My business partner Simon and I love nothing more than running creative sessions, generating ideas, getting hyped on coffee, ready to conquer the world! It fills us with energy, hope, and excitement for the future we are building together. But before we can get to the future, we have to deal with the past!
Maybe you haven't done as well as you wanted to up until this point. Maybe you got bullied at school and that still affects your self-esteem and confidence. Maybe you see all the people around you making more progress than you are? |
This morning I got a messaging from one lady telling me that listening to my podcast makes her sad because it makes her think about how she hasn't done well. Is that my podcast's fault or the way she is thinking about it? Are you really doing the best thing for yourself by avoiding things and not dealing with where you are?
Nothing changes until you do
We ended the last chapter with the concept that nothing changes until you change first. So I have a question for you "Did you do the homework?" In the last chapter there were 2 exercises about re-writing the meaning of past events and measuring what percentage of your time do you currently spend inside your area of control versus outside?
What did you discover? What did you learn? Did you talk to someone significant in your life about the results? Have you made any changes already based on the first two exercises?
If you haven't done the exercises, I ban you from reading more! Obviously I can't do that as I am not there right now, but if I was I would rugby tackle you and take the book away from you! Time to do the exercises. Nothing changes if you don't take action.
Stop reading and start doing.
I know what it is like. I have to force myself to do the exercises in books as well, but I always remember that the exercises and questions are where the juice and progress really are. This is where the power of a book is. Knowledge unapplied is a waste of time.
I have a kindle which I love, and I always buy books on there. Travelling around the world paper books just don't work that well for me. The biggest benefit of the kindle is the highlight feature which I can then use to export my highlights.
As I read I highlight the exercises and then I can log onto my computer and export the highlights from Amazon into my notebook (I use OneNote) and then write my answers between the questions. Some books leave space within them to write the answers, but most don't even tell you to do the exercises, then just embed the questions within the text and expect you to think about the answers. The real power comes from you thinking about the answers and exploring your own ideas. I can inspire you, but then you need to take the questions, think, write and turn them into actions. I can't tell you what to do from here in your life, but I can ask you questions and ask you to do exercises that will help you reach your own answers, and this is what I want.
I want you to take the questions I ask you and journal about the answers, explore them, think about them, and then work out what to do about it. It is the action that will make the difference in your life.
If you haven't done the exercises in the last chapter here is what I would like you to do:
Who knew when you picked up this book you would be asked to do so much within the first two chapters? Would you have opened the book and read it if you knew it was going to be hard work?
I have read so many self-development books and some of them do a great job of highlighting your actions and what you need to do but the vast majority leave you to figure it our for yourself which I know most people won't do!
Most people don't even open the books they buy. Have you ever bought a book, put it on the shelf, and then said to yourself, "I'm looking forward to reading that" but NEVER got back to it? Only 60% of books bought actually get opened, and that says nothing for what percentage of people that actually make it through to the end!
With the advent of eBooks we can now understand more about people's reading behaviour. One of the best selling books in France was "Le Suicide Francais" which sold over half a million copies, but just 7% of Kobo's French readers made it to the end of the summary.
But you aren't like most people are you?
What did you discover? What did you learn? Did you talk to someone significant in your life about the results? Have you made any changes already based on the first two exercises?
If you haven't done the exercises, I ban you from reading more! Obviously I can't do that as I am not there right now, but if I was I would rugby tackle you and take the book away from you! Time to do the exercises. Nothing changes if you don't take action.
Stop reading and start doing.
I know what it is like. I have to force myself to do the exercises in books as well, but I always remember that the exercises and questions are where the juice and progress really are. This is where the power of a book is. Knowledge unapplied is a waste of time.
I have a kindle which I love, and I always buy books on there. Travelling around the world paper books just don't work that well for me. The biggest benefit of the kindle is the highlight feature which I can then use to export my highlights.
As I read I highlight the exercises and then I can log onto my computer and export the highlights from Amazon into my notebook (I use OneNote) and then write my answers between the questions. Some books leave space within them to write the answers, but most don't even tell you to do the exercises, then just embed the questions within the text and expect you to think about the answers. The real power comes from you thinking about the answers and exploring your own ideas. I can inspire you, but then you need to take the questions, think, write and turn them into actions. I can't tell you what to do from here in your life, but I can ask you questions and ask you to do exercises that will help you reach your own answers, and this is what I want.
I want you to take the questions I ask you and journal about the answers, explore them, think about them, and then work out what to do about it. It is the action that will make the difference in your life.
If you haven't done the exercises in the last chapter here is what I would like you to do:
- Find the exercises and if you are reading electronically then highlight the questions, copy them into an electronic notebook or Google Sheet or whatever! If you are old school (which I admire and love too) then write out the prompts in an actual physical paper note book. There is something magical about holding a pen and a nice notebook!
- Go through the questions and write your answers, thoughts and feelings. If it is the tracking the focus of your day in relation to area of control, then jot down what has happened and guess a percentage and make notes.
- After you have done the exercise I would love you to summarise what you have learnt. Write 1-5 bullet points for what you have learned from the exercise.
- Finally, and this is the most CRITICAL part, I want you to write down what you are committing to do differently from this point, based on what you have discovered. It could be as simple as I am going to spend half an hour less watching/reading the media a day or a direct action of I want to go and see a therapist to get over this problem that has been haunting me for decades!
- Then you do the action you have decided upon!
Who knew when you picked up this book you would be asked to do so much within the first two chapters? Would you have opened the book and read it if you knew it was going to be hard work?
I have read so many self-development books and some of them do a great job of highlighting your actions and what you need to do but the vast majority leave you to figure it our for yourself which I know most people won't do!
Most people don't even open the books they buy. Have you ever bought a book, put it on the shelf, and then said to yourself, "I'm looking forward to reading that" but NEVER got back to it? Only 60% of books bought actually get opened, and that says nothing for what percentage of people that actually make it through to the end!
With the advent of eBooks we can now understand more about people's reading behaviour. One of the best selling books in France was "Le Suicide Francais" which sold over half a million copies, but just 7% of Kobo's French readers made it to the end of the summary.
- Starting a book isn't normal
- Finishing a book is rare
- Actually doing something about the book you have just read is virtually non-existent
But you aren't like most people are you?
The difference that makes the difference
My wife Katie and I are amazed at times with the difference that actually makes the difference in people's success. You would think there was some grand thing, special skill, key distinction that really created the difference, but in the end it comes down to very simple things.
Did the person follow through, did they make it happen, did they take action and keep going. This sounds daft, but the percentage of people that actually follow through and do things in miniscule.
If you want to be in the top 5% of performing people around the world then do the basics really, really well. Read the book, do the exercises, and take action. Just doing that puts you in front of 95% of people.
This sounds over-simplified, and when I was younger I would have got angry at a book that told me this! I probably would have sworn, shouted, and said "#!$# you, I am giving it everything I can and nothing is happening!" I am doing what you say.
Which introduces a critical distinction. This is all about doing this over time. You can't expect to do the exercise once and then never have any problems again! You can't expect to make one sales call and for your business to explode. You can't expect to eat one salad and then be thin. Life doesn't work like that. It is about taking consistent action over time.
Why am I telling you this? Because if you just read this book and then do nothing about it, you can't expect anything to happen.
If you haven't done the exercises yet, open a notebook and start! Now is the time to start making the changes you want to see in your life! Then working through the book over the coming weeks and implementing.
Did the person follow through, did they make it happen, did they take action and keep going. This sounds daft, but the percentage of people that actually follow through and do things in miniscule.
If you want to be in the top 5% of performing people around the world then do the basics really, really well. Read the book, do the exercises, and take action. Just doing that puts you in front of 95% of people.
This sounds over-simplified, and when I was younger I would have got angry at a book that told me this! I probably would have sworn, shouted, and said "#!$# you, I am giving it everything I can and nothing is happening!" I am doing what you say.
Which introduces a critical distinction. This is all about doing this over time. You can't expect to do the exercise once and then never have any problems again! You can't expect to make one sales call and for your business to explode. You can't expect to eat one salad and then be thin. Life doesn't work like that. It is about taking consistent action over time.
Why am I telling you this? Because if you just read this book and then do nothing about it, you can't expect anything to happen.
If you haven't done the exercises yet, open a notebook and start! Now is the time to start making the changes you want to see in your life! Then working through the book over the coming weeks and implementing.
We are where we are
It is very difficult to start creating, building and focusing on the future if we haven't let go of the past and accepted where we are.
On a recent course I was coaching someone on their finances. They had told me their finances where in a mess and that they weren't able to retire for decades, maybe even at all. The retirement calculator had told them they would be working till 130 years old! I was shocked and wanted to help, so we dug in and I started asking questions (you know I love a good question!)
The thing that struck me was that every single sentence came with a preceding excuse for the person's current position. Everything came with a list of caveats about why they are where they are. Obviously my business is here because of x, y and z. Obviously my income has not been as good as it could have been because of {insert list of shit that happened in the past}. Obviously I am a lot older than you are, and .....................
By the end of an hour I was super frustrated, but we were slowly making progress. Every single thing that we spoke about came with a 20 minute monologue about why the situation was the way it was. I started to get really frustrated and eventually told this person to stop telling me this.
I wanted to scream "I don't care why you are where you are!" I care about what we are gong to do in the future." Maybe I should have done. In the time we chatted together we could have made so much progress if we just accepted where we are and focused on building from the present. The past has happened and neither of us can do anything about that!
In most instances I don't want to know the history. If we are focusing on finances, all I need are the facts and figures and then we can come up with a plan from here. If we are discussing business, I need a bit more detail about what you have and haven't tried so far to help work out what the next plan is, but not too much!
You have got to this point in your life. That is it. Where do we go from here?
Every year at the Rebel Team retreats I was famous for giving a presentation about what had happened that year. I would have great fun putting it together and towards the end of my presentation I would say, "So we have come to a certain point in time; where do we go from here?"
Then I would have great fun graphically laying out our options as a business. We could do this, focus on this product, sell it in this country, or say, screw it all, let's move to Mexico. I had so much fun doing this the the gang enjoyed it too. The message I was trying to give every single year was that it didn't really matter what happened before, from this point we get to choose exactly where we want to go next. We can do anything. We can build anything. I would get super excited about the future.
This is not to say that we would just ditch everything we have done in the past and give up and start something new every year; if we did that we would never make any progress. Equally, if you just keep on doing what you do every single year just because it is what you do and you let the past control your future you will never get to the life or the change you want to make happen.
Stop letting the past control your future.
The best thing about the past is that it is over.
Let's decide from here where we want to go next.
We are where we are. That is it.
Let's build from here
On a recent course I was coaching someone on their finances. They had told me their finances where in a mess and that they weren't able to retire for decades, maybe even at all. The retirement calculator had told them they would be working till 130 years old! I was shocked and wanted to help, so we dug in and I started asking questions (you know I love a good question!)
The thing that struck me was that every single sentence came with a preceding excuse for the person's current position. Everything came with a list of caveats about why they are where they are. Obviously my business is here because of x, y and z. Obviously my income has not been as good as it could have been because of {insert list of shit that happened in the past}. Obviously I am a lot older than you are, and .....................
By the end of an hour I was super frustrated, but we were slowly making progress. Every single thing that we spoke about came with a 20 minute monologue about why the situation was the way it was. I started to get really frustrated and eventually told this person to stop telling me this.
I wanted to scream "I don't care why you are where you are!" I care about what we are gong to do in the future." Maybe I should have done. In the time we chatted together we could have made so much progress if we just accepted where we are and focused on building from the present. The past has happened and neither of us can do anything about that!
In most instances I don't want to know the history. If we are focusing on finances, all I need are the facts and figures and then we can come up with a plan from here. If we are discussing business, I need a bit more detail about what you have and haven't tried so far to help work out what the next plan is, but not too much!
You have got to this point in your life. That is it. Where do we go from here?
Every year at the Rebel Team retreats I was famous for giving a presentation about what had happened that year. I would have great fun putting it together and towards the end of my presentation I would say, "So we have come to a certain point in time; where do we go from here?"
Then I would have great fun graphically laying out our options as a business. We could do this, focus on this product, sell it in this country, or say, screw it all, let's move to Mexico. I had so much fun doing this the the gang enjoyed it too. The message I was trying to give every single year was that it didn't really matter what happened before, from this point we get to choose exactly where we want to go next. We can do anything. We can build anything. I would get super excited about the future.
This is not to say that we would just ditch everything we have done in the past and give up and start something new every year; if we did that we would never make any progress. Equally, if you just keep on doing what you do every single year just because it is what you do and you let the past control your future you will never get to the life or the change you want to make happen.
Stop letting the past control your future.
The best thing about the past is that it is over.
Let's decide from here where we want to go next.
We are where we are. That is it.
Let's build from here
If you have nothing you are doing pretty good!
The average American has $97,000 worth of unsecured debt. That doesn't include their mortgage. If you add that in then the total is $279,000 of debt!
Maybe this doesn't shock you. I looked at the list of debt and was amazed, the average American human has $16,883 on credit cards alone. Holy Moly! If you just paid the minimum payments, it would take you 32 years to pay that off.
The average American has $29,539 of auto loans. How big a car are you driving!??
Why am I telling you this? Because if you are starting from zero, you are actually doing pretty well. Most people are starting from a long way behind the starting line in financial terms.
If you have debt then we are going to start where you are.
If you don't have debt, then let's start there.
If you are unemployed, let's start there.
If you are wealthy but unhappy, let's start there.
If you are starting from zero, you are actually starting from a lot further forward than most people.
If you have made some mistakes along the way, even better! You might have a few learnings to apply to the next phase of your life!
Maybe this doesn't shock you. I looked at the list of debt and was amazed, the average American human has $16,883 on credit cards alone. Holy Moly! If you just paid the minimum payments, it would take you 32 years to pay that off.
The average American has $29,539 of auto loans. How big a car are you driving!??
Why am I telling you this? Because if you are starting from zero, you are actually doing pretty well. Most people are starting from a long way behind the starting line in financial terms.
If you have debt then we are going to start where you are.
If you don't have debt, then let's start there.
If you are unemployed, let's start there.
If you are wealthy but unhappy, let's start there.
If you are starting from zero, you are actually starting from a lot further forward than most people.
If you have made some mistakes along the way, even better! You might have a few learnings to apply to the next phase of your life!
The price of education
I have no idea if this is an urban myth or not, but it is a fantastic story with an incredible lesson within it. Years ago at IBM a sales man had made a huge mistake on a deal. He had cost the company $1 million dollars and he was mortified. As soon as he figured if out, he decided to hand in his resignation, thinking that this was the honourable thing to do.
He prepared the letter and went to his manager to hand it in. He walked into the office and prepared to hand the letter to the manager.
The manager looked at him and said "If that is what I think it is then don't even think of giving it to me after I have just invested $1million into your education!"
The mistake had happened. The money was gone. The damage was done. The manager knew this and the only thing they could do together was to figure out what was next and avoid it ever happening again in the future.
My business partner Simon likes to refer to his first business as his £20,000 MBA programme. He made every single mistake that you could possibly make. They key is taking those mistakes and grow. Simon reframes the mistakes as an investment in learning.
If you have made mistakes, screwed things up, failed along the way, then we should celebrate that. We just need to make sure we get the learning that it sent to you and apply it to our next project.
Things are going to go wrong. It is your job as a functioning human being to learn from it and then get better in the future. If you do that then it is inevitable that you will make progress. If you don't take the time to learn from it, you will stay stuck repeating the same mistakes time and time and time again.
When I was around 19 or 20 (a long time ago!), I had built up some savings through selling sportswear at school, selling tickets to parties, part-time work and more. I had saved £7,000 ($8700), enough for a sizeable house deposit at that point. I was wondering what to do with it, do I put it in a savings account? Should I invest in a property? What do I do?
My dad persuaded me to meet with his investment advisor. I remember it vividly. It was a beautiful sunny day in Hampshire, England, blue skies, lush green grass, the investment advisor pulled up in his swanky sportscar with the roof down. We sat around the kitchen table together and he advised us to invest our money into an ISA (Individual savings account) with a high-tech, high-growth, actively managed fund. He believed so strongly in what he recommended. My dad decided to invest his money. It all sounded so good and I was caught up in the energy of the moment. I decided to invest my life savings as well.
This was right before the dot com bubble happened and the stock market crashed. My life savings vanished almost over night. My £7,000 turned into £1,200. After 4 years it had grown back to £1400.
This experience scarred the shit out of me. My life savings that had taken years to build had vanished. I was petrified of investing in the stock market from this point onwards.
The thing that I didn't do at this point was get the lesson from my expensive mistake. I didn't take the time to learn what happened. Instead, I just made a broad sweeping statement that all investing in stocks was evil, which was backed up by my Mum. She had experienced my Dad squandering fortunes on stocks and loosing the family fortune.
That one incident scared me off investing for 14 years.
It wasn't until I was in my mid-thirties that I started to learn about the financial independence community, index investing and JL Collins' book The Simple Path to Wealth that I really understood where I had gone wrong. There were huge lessons in the loss of my life savings that I didn't take the time to learn. I just made a general sweeping statement about the situation and in anger turned away from the incident.
I hate to think of where I would be today if I had learned from that incident right there and then and applied those learnings to my life in my twenties. Instead, I chalked it up as a huge failure and summarised with an limiting belief that "stocks and shares are evil".
It wasn't until I learned about stocks and shares, investing and the stock market that I saw what I had done wrong. At that point I didn't even know what the stock market was! I never took the time to learn why I failed and what to do differently.
What has happened to you in the past that you have never taken the learnings from and applied them to your life? What has the past got to teach you before you put it down and stride into the future? If you have made lots of mistakes then be grateful because you have so much value you can learn from and apply to an even brighter future.
In 2015 I picked up JL Collin's book, The Simple Path to Wealth, and as I read it I began to truly understand the investing mistake I had made. I had invested in an active fund that was trying to pick high growth stocks, which is a huge folly. I didn't realise what I had done or that there were other far better ways to invest. It took me 14 years to learn what I needed to learn to get confident investing again and to start my journey towards financial independence.
Don't be like me. I sometimes think the universe has to teach me things in three or four different ways before it sinks into my thick skull and I change my behaviour.
What were some of the mistakes you have made and what where they sent to teach you? Maybe it is time to take the learning and then put them down to create freedom.
He prepared the letter and went to his manager to hand it in. He walked into the office and prepared to hand the letter to the manager.
The manager looked at him and said "If that is what I think it is then don't even think of giving it to me after I have just invested $1million into your education!"
The mistake had happened. The money was gone. The damage was done. The manager knew this and the only thing they could do together was to figure out what was next and avoid it ever happening again in the future.
My business partner Simon likes to refer to his first business as his £20,000 MBA programme. He made every single mistake that you could possibly make. They key is taking those mistakes and grow. Simon reframes the mistakes as an investment in learning.
If you have made mistakes, screwed things up, failed along the way, then we should celebrate that. We just need to make sure we get the learning that it sent to you and apply it to our next project.
Things are going to go wrong. It is your job as a functioning human being to learn from it and then get better in the future. If you do that then it is inevitable that you will make progress. If you don't take the time to learn from it, you will stay stuck repeating the same mistakes time and time and time again.
When I was around 19 or 20 (a long time ago!), I had built up some savings through selling sportswear at school, selling tickets to parties, part-time work and more. I had saved £7,000 ($8700), enough for a sizeable house deposit at that point. I was wondering what to do with it, do I put it in a savings account? Should I invest in a property? What do I do?
My dad persuaded me to meet with his investment advisor. I remember it vividly. It was a beautiful sunny day in Hampshire, England, blue skies, lush green grass, the investment advisor pulled up in his swanky sportscar with the roof down. We sat around the kitchen table together and he advised us to invest our money into an ISA (Individual savings account) with a high-tech, high-growth, actively managed fund. He believed so strongly in what he recommended. My dad decided to invest his money. It all sounded so good and I was caught up in the energy of the moment. I decided to invest my life savings as well.
This was right before the dot com bubble happened and the stock market crashed. My life savings vanished almost over night. My £7,000 turned into £1,200. After 4 years it had grown back to £1400.
This experience scarred the shit out of me. My life savings that had taken years to build had vanished. I was petrified of investing in the stock market from this point onwards.
The thing that I didn't do at this point was get the lesson from my expensive mistake. I didn't take the time to learn what happened. Instead, I just made a broad sweeping statement that all investing in stocks was evil, which was backed up by my Mum. She had experienced my Dad squandering fortunes on stocks and loosing the family fortune.
That one incident scared me off investing for 14 years.
It wasn't until I was in my mid-thirties that I started to learn about the financial independence community, index investing and JL Collins' book The Simple Path to Wealth that I really understood where I had gone wrong. There were huge lessons in the loss of my life savings that I didn't take the time to learn. I just made a general sweeping statement about the situation and in anger turned away from the incident.
I hate to think of where I would be today if I had learned from that incident right there and then and applied those learnings to my life in my twenties. Instead, I chalked it up as a huge failure and summarised with an limiting belief that "stocks and shares are evil".
It wasn't until I learned about stocks and shares, investing and the stock market that I saw what I had done wrong. At that point I didn't even know what the stock market was! I never took the time to learn why I failed and what to do differently.
What has happened to you in the past that you have never taken the learnings from and applied them to your life? What has the past got to teach you before you put it down and stride into the future? If you have made lots of mistakes then be grateful because you have so much value you can learn from and apply to an even brighter future.
In 2015 I picked up JL Collin's book, The Simple Path to Wealth, and as I read it I began to truly understand the investing mistake I had made. I had invested in an active fund that was trying to pick high growth stocks, which is a huge folly. I didn't realise what I had done or that there were other far better ways to invest. It took me 14 years to learn what I needed to learn to get confident investing again and to start my journey towards financial independence.
Don't be like me. I sometimes think the universe has to teach me things in three or four different ways before it sinks into my thick skull and I change my behaviour.
What were some of the mistakes you have made and what where they sent to teach you? Maybe it is time to take the learning and then put them down to create freedom.
Simon's favourite question
Sometimes things go badly for me. I am human after all. I have problems, arguments and issues just like the rest of the world. When this does happen to me I like to ask for support and different perspectives. I have learnt that quite often I am too close to my own problems and I need someone to show me different ways to look at it.
One of my favourite people to call is Simon. I always know one of the last questions he is going to ask me on these calls. He helps me to calm down, he asks me questions so I see the issues in different lights and then right at the end of the call he asks me the most difficult question.
"What was this sent to teach you?"
I know the question is coming. Every time he asks me my brain wants to scream "nothing, they are assholes and I did nothing wrong!". Then I calm down, and work to think about what this incident was actually sent to teach me and what I will do differently in the future.
This is where the true value is. If you don't take the time to work out what the bad shit in life was sent to teach you then you don't get to graduate to the next level.
Try thinking of it like a video game with levels. The universe sends you a juicy problem and you have to work out what it was sent to teach you before you get to graduate to level 2. Sometimes the universe sends you a big bad boss at the end of the level; something that is a HUGE challenge to you. Not only do you have to conquer the big bad boss but you need to learn from it to apply to the next level.
When Simon and I conquer a business problem and move forward there is always another challenge or opportunity that comes. We look at each other at say "this is a whole new level!"
Learning from these things helps you to move forwards.
One of my favourite people to call is Simon. I always know one of the last questions he is going to ask me on these calls. He helps me to calm down, he asks me questions so I see the issues in different lights and then right at the end of the call he asks me the most difficult question.
"What was this sent to teach you?"
I know the question is coming. Every time he asks me my brain wants to scream "nothing, they are assholes and I did nothing wrong!". Then I calm down, and work to think about what this incident was actually sent to teach me and what I will do differently in the future.
This is where the true value is. If you don't take the time to work out what the bad shit in life was sent to teach you then you don't get to graduate to the next level.
Try thinking of it like a video game with levels. The universe sends you a juicy problem and you have to work out what it was sent to teach you before you get to graduate to level 2. Sometimes the universe sends you a big bad boss at the end of the level; something that is a HUGE challenge to you. Not only do you have to conquer the big bad boss but you need to learn from it to apply to the next level.
When Simon and I conquer a business problem and move forward there is always another challenge or opportunity that comes. We look at each other at say "this is a whole new level!"
Learning from these things helps you to move forwards.
Freedom to create comes from forgiving past you
19-20 year-old Alan didn't know anything about investing. He was just out of education and starting to work. He knew the sum total of diddly squat (this means hardly anything. It may be a British expression!) He relied on the advice of a professional advisor and his Dad. They were both doing the best they could. I mean, knowing what I know now, that investment advisor gave BAD advice and should suffer some of the blame for my loss and my Dad's. But young Alan? How much of the blame should he suffer?
For a decade I was so cross with myself for not taking that amount of money and buying a house instead. The progress I could have made. I was annoyed at myself for making that mistake and it haunted me and stopped me from making progress. Does beating myself up help me to make progress? Does being angry at my Dad or that advisor who's name I don't even know, affect them at all? The anger, the bitterness and more is just septic in my body, poisoning me and stopping me from making progress.
The only logical thing was to put down that anger, that bitterness at myself, at the people that had "wronged" me. I forgave them and learnt from the situation then I could move forwards.
If it is so obvious and so god dam logical, then why didn't I forgive them or myself for years? Why don't people move on from things that happen to them. Why do they replay them in their head day after day, torturing themselves?
I had a friend that was bullied heavily at school. I thought to myself, I know a thing or two about bullying and how to put it down and work past it. I wonder if I could help? I decided that I would get involved and do what I could to help him. I didn't realise how strongly that bullying had become part of my friends identity. I told him my story of bullying and started to say how I overcame it, he told me that was fine for me but would never work for him as they really attacked him.
We chatted about it, on and off, for several years and I was amazed at how he would not let it go. Anything I suggested, he told me wouldn't work and "they" had ruined his life. It was as if he wanted to prove that they had ruined his life so he could be angry at them still.
The only person ruining his life at this point was himself by not letting go of the past and working to create the future he wanted. He had goals, he just couldn't put down the past long enough to make progress on them. We will come onto why he didn't put the past down in the next section.
I don't care whether it is past you that made mistakes or other people that wronged you or just a random freak accident. They are all terrible things and we need to honour that they happened, but not at the expense of the future.
My wife Katie occasionally has a moment of "What if I lose you Alan?" She gets a upset and I can see how much she loves me. I feel overwhelmed by the love. I then remember to tell her that if she actually does lose me in some kind of freak accident in an almond croissant factory, she is "allowed" to have two weeks of mourning, and then I want her to live her life. The biggest gift she can give me is her happiness and that is true whether I am "here" or not. All I want is her happiness.
Torturing herself over the past doesn't change anything; it doesn't help anything or anyone. You can't change what has happened. We are where we are. Let's honour the past, re-write it's meaning, and then get on with living extraordinary lives.
I want the same for you as I want for Katie. I want your happiness. I want you to feel empowered and like you are growing and contributing as I know this is what leads to happiness. I want you to let go and move forward.
If you have lost someone and that lost still haunts you; would that person have wanted you to be upset, down, distraught for years? Or would they have wanted you to have the most amazing, enriching and full life?
You have to forgive past you. Past you was doing the best they could. They just got it wrong sometimes!
You might also have to forgive other people that have done bad shit to you. Don't let them have power over your present or your future. Don't forgive them for them; do it for YOU so that you can move forward.
The best form of retribution on the people that have wronged you is to live your life as you want to. Lead a happy, fulfilled and incredible life and show they don't have ANY power over you.
The question then becomes, how do you do that?
I have an exercise for you that I believe will help you to do this. This excise was fundamental in my forgiveness for my father and in letting go of all the crazy shit that happened in my teenage years. Maybe you aren't quite ready to forgive and move on just yet; then again what have you got to loose by having a go at the exercise? It might help.
You have two options now as I want you to go through this step by step. Option 1 is to get a friend to slowly and in a calm and relaxed tone, read out the book and guide you through the exercise. Option 2 is to get out your phone and record yourself reading this section. Read it out slowly and calmly into the phone. Then go into a quiet room and play back the recording to yourself.
This exercise is not finished yet and I am still working on it. I am thinking of recording it professionally and putting it in the book as an audio to go with it. More to come shortly.
This is a closed eye process so relax and give it a go.
Call to mind the person that has done wrong to you
An image of them
put them in front of you
Put them on a small stage
Call to mind the next person that has caused you problems
put them on the stage.
At the moment they are attached to you. They have a piece of you. See the strings that are still attaching you together
These strings are guilt, anger or other emotional ties that attach you together
call to mind the third person. Maybe it is pas you? see yourself at the stage you made the mistake
Put them on the stage
See the attachment you have to them
See them there and imagine them in front of you
Say what you need to say to them
Is there anything left unspoken?
What do you need to communicate so that you can let go
if you are angry that is ok, let it out, say it out loud
if you are sad that is ok, let it out and tell them
Say what you need to say?
Are you ready to let go of this feeling and move on with your life?
If the answer is no that is ok, what do you need to do or say to be able to let them go
Now it is time to set them and yourself free
Imagine them on the stage. See them there
Say out loud your final message to them
Imagine cutting the strings to them
cut the ties to your past and let them go
See them float off into the distance
it is time to let go
Image a version of you that is free from these ties to the past
See them in front of you. How do they look? Are they standing tall? How does free you look?
Imagine that freedom as a colour surrounding them
step into free you because that is now where you are. You have let go and are now ready
Image that colour surrounding you
feel the freedom you now have from your past
For a decade I was so cross with myself for not taking that amount of money and buying a house instead. The progress I could have made. I was annoyed at myself for making that mistake and it haunted me and stopped me from making progress. Does beating myself up help me to make progress? Does being angry at my Dad or that advisor who's name I don't even know, affect them at all? The anger, the bitterness and more is just septic in my body, poisoning me and stopping me from making progress.
The only logical thing was to put down that anger, that bitterness at myself, at the people that had "wronged" me. I forgave them and learnt from the situation then I could move forwards.
If it is so obvious and so god dam logical, then why didn't I forgive them or myself for years? Why don't people move on from things that happen to them. Why do they replay them in their head day after day, torturing themselves?
I had a friend that was bullied heavily at school. I thought to myself, I know a thing or two about bullying and how to put it down and work past it. I wonder if I could help? I decided that I would get involved and do what I could to help him. I didn't realise how strongly that bullying had become part of my friends identity. I told him my story of bullying and started to say how I overcame it, he told me that was fine for me but would never work for him as they really attacked him.
We chatted about it, on and off, for several years and I was amazed at how he would not let it go. Anything I suggested, he told me wouldn't work and "they" had ruined his life. It was as if he wanted to prove that they had ruined his life so he could be angry at them still.
The only person ruining his life at this point was himself by not letting go of the past and working to create the future he wanted. He had goals, he just couldn't put down the past long enough to make progress on them. We will come onto why he didn't put the past down in the next section.
I don't care whether it is past you that made mistakes or other people that wronged you or just a random freak accident. They are all terrible things and we need to honour that they happened, but not at the expense of the future.
My wife Katie occasionally has a moment of "What if I lose you Alan?" She gets a upset and I can see how much she loves me. I feel overwhelmed by the love. I then remember to tell her that if she actually does lose me in some kind of freak accident in an almond croissant factory, she is "allowed" to have two weeks of mourning, and then I want her to live her life. The biggest gift she can give me is her happiness and that is true whether I am "here" or not. All I want is her happiness.
Torturing herself over the past doesn't change anything; it doesn't help anything or anyone. You can't change what has happened. We are where we are. Let's honour the past, re-write it's meaning, and then get on with living extraordinary lives.
I want the same for you as I want for Katie. I want your happiness. I want you to feel empowered and like you are growing and contributing as I know this is what leads to happiness. I want you to let go and move forward.
If you have lost someone and that lost still haunts you; would that person have wanted you to be upset, down, distraught for years? Or would they have wanted you to have the most amazing, enriching and full life?
You have to forgive past you. Past you was doing the best they could. They just got it wrong sometimes!
You might also have to forgive other people that have done bad shit to you. Don't let them have power over your present or your future. Don't forgive them for them; do it for YOU so that you can move forward.
The best form of retribution on the people that have wronged you is to live your life as you want to. Lead a happy, fulfilled and incredible life and show they don't have ANY power over you.
The question then becomes, how do you do that?
I have an exercise for you that I believe will help you to do this. This excise was fundamental in my forgiveness for my father and in letting go of all the crazy shit that happened in my teenage years. Maybe you aren't quite ready to forgive and move on just yet; then again what have you got to loose by having a go at the exercise? It might help.
You have two options now as I want you to go through this step by step. Option 1 is to get a friend to slowly and in a calm and relaxed tone, read out the book and guide you through the exercise. Option 2 is to get out your phone and record yourself reading this section. Read it out slowly and calmly into the phone. Then go into a quiet room and play back the recording to yourself.
This exercise is not finished yet and I am still working on it. I am thinking of recording it professionally and putting it in the book as an audio to go with it. More to come shortly.
This is a closed eye process so relax and give it a go.
Call to mind the person that has done wrong to you
An image of them
put them in front of you
Put them on a small stage
Call to mind the next person that has caused you problems
put them on the stage.
At the moment they are attached to you. They have a piece of you. See the strings that are still attaching you together
These strings are guilt, anger or other emotional ties that attach you together
call to mind the third person. Maybe it is pas you? see yourself at the stage you made the mistake
Put them on the stage
See the attachment you have to them
See them there and imagine them in front of you
Say what you need to say to them
Is there anything left unspoken?
What do you need to communicate so that you can let go
if you are angry that is ok, let it out, say it out loud
if you are sad that is ok, let it out and tell them
Say what you need to say?
Are you ready to let go of this feeling and move on with your life?
If the answer is no that is ok, what do you need to do or say to be able to let them go
Now it is time to set them and yourself free
Imagine them on the stage. See them there
Say out loud your final message to them
Imagine cutting the strings to them
cut the ties to your past and let them go
See them float off into the distance
it is time to let go
Image a version of you that is free from these ties to the past
See them in front of you. How do they look? Are they standing tall? How does free you look?
Imagine that freedom as a colour surrounding them
step into free you because that is now where you are. You have let go and are now ready
Image that colour surrounding you
feel the freedom you now have from your past
Putting down your baggage
There is a simple but difficult to decipher reason why people don't let go of their past, why they don't want to let go of the problems or why they don't move on. The simple answer is that they are getting something out of holding on or keeping their problems. They are better off with the problem or issue than they are without it so they keep it.
The reason it is difficult to decipher is because the reasons they are keeping it is different every time and they will look you straight in the eye and say with their entire being that they are ready to move on but they can't.
My friend I told you about earlier that wanted to get a girlfriend and move on but struggled for decades fought this for years and was in so much pain over it. I don't think he ever realised that he just got too much out of keeping the problems than he did letting go. The concept here is called secondary gain; what that means is you are getting something out of having your problems.
My friend got so much out of it. He got significance because he had such painful problems that people paid attention to him. He got comfort and care as he lived at home well into his late thirties and wasn't pushed out by his parents because he was in such a pickle. He got to be right because he said that the bullies at school had ruined his life and if he improved he was no longer right. Holding onto the problem proved he was right and they were wrong.
Being right is one of the most septic things. Would you prefer to be right that someone ruined your life or would you rather move on and have an amazing live. I know which I would choose. In fact it was the one I choose, I went through just as bad if not worse (this is comparison and I don't like it but it fits sometimes to help people move on) bullying as my friend but I choose to not let it define me.
My friend got significance from having the problem, he got comfort from living at home, being looked after and cared for. he got love and care from people as they saw how harshly he was treated, they cared for him and listened to him. He got some much out of having these problems that he held onto them for decades.
What are you getting out of holding onto your problems? How are you better off having your problems than letting go? Do you get to feel significant as you are the only one that has these difficult problems. Do you get comfort from knowing what the problem is and not having to leave your comfort zone as you are comfortable in this pain? Do you get love and care from people looking after you?
If you have had a problem, an issue, a way of thinking that has stuck around for years of decades I guarantee you are getting something out of it. Otherwise you would have put it down a long time ago.
Your job after reading this section of the book is to reflect on what you are getting out of having your problems. There can not be progress without honest introspection and really understanding your self. Answer the following questions:
You have got to put this shit down if you are going to make progress. It is time to forgive, let go of the past, put all this shit down so you can live your life the way you want to.
The best revenge on bullies is to go and live an amazing life without them having a chunk of your mind on a daily basis. The best way to deal with bad shit that has happened o you in the past is to live a life of pleasure and happiness from now on.
The next steps after putting down the baggage is to fill the void with something positive. If you have spent an hour a day thinking about this shit for the last decade that is a lot of free time you have just got back to do something cool. There is a watch out though as if you just get rid of something and don't replace it with something positive then it has the chance to creep back into the void that you have just created!
That is what this book is all about. Spend more time living in the moment and enjoying now and more time planning the future and creating an awesome future than you do dwelling in the past. This book is all about building a cool future and that is what we are going to put this shit down to do!
Are you ready to let go of the past? Are you ready to start moving forwards?
The reason it is difficult to decipher is because the reasons they are keeping it is different every time and they will look you straight in the eye and say with their entire being that they are ready to move on but they can't.
My friend I told you about earlier that wanted to get a girlfriend and move on but struggled for decades fought this for years and was in so much pain over it. I don't think he ever realised that he just got too much out of keeping the problems than he did letting go. The concept here is called secondary gain; what that means is you are getting something out of having your problems.
My friend got so much out of it. He got significance because he had such painful problems that people paid attention to him. He got comfort and care as he lived at home well into his late thirties and wasn't pushed out by his parents because he was in such a pickle. He got to be right because he said that the bullies at school had ruined his life and if he improved he was no longer right. Holding onto the problem proved he was right and they were wrong.
Being right is one of the most septic things. Would you prefer to be right that someone ruined your life or would you rather move on and have an amazing live. I know which I would choose. In fact it was the one I choose, I went through just as bad if not worse (this is comparison and I don't like it but it fits sometimes to help people move on) bullying as my friend but I choose to not let it define me.
My friend got significance from having the problem, he got comfort from living at home, being looked after and cared for. he got love and care from people as they saw how harshly he was treated, they cared for him and listened to him. He got some much out of having these problems that he held onto them for decades.
What are you getting out of holding onto your problems? How are you better off having your problems than letting go? Do you get to feel significant as you are the only one that has these difficult problems. Do you get comfort from knowing what the problem is and not having to leave your comfort zone as you are comfortable in this pain? Do you get love and care from people looking after you?
If you have had a problem, an issue, a way of thinking that has stuck around for years of decades I guarantee you are getting something out of it. Otherwise you would have put it down a long time ago.
Your job after reading this section of the book is to reflect on what you are getting out of having your problems. There can not be progress without honest introspection and really understanding your self. Answer the following questions:
- what is the problem I have at the moment? What is the history or story that you are holding on to?
- How are you better off having this problem in your life?
- How are you better off getting rid of this problem?
- How can you get the benefits this problem or baggage offers you in a more sustainable way? If you get to feel significant because you have this problem then maybe you can fulfil your need for significance through a better way such as helping others, or entertaining people, or building a cool life?
- If you hold onto the problem for the rest of your life how will you be worse off? How is this problem messing up your future?
- What do you need to happen to be able to put this problem down for now? you don't have to give it up forever but what do you need just to put it down?
- How might you be able to make more progress, have more fun, live a happier life if this thing wasn't affecting you on a daily or weekly basis?
You have got to put this shit down if you are going to make progress. It is time to forgive, let go of the past, put all this shit down so you can live your life the way you want to.
The best revenge on bullies is to go and live an amazing life without them having a chunk of your mind on a daily basis. The best way to deal with bad shit that has happened o you in the past is to live a life of pleasure and happiness from now on.
The next steps after putting down the baggage is to fill the void with something positive. If you have spent an hour a day thinking about this shit for the last decade that is a lot of free time you have just got back to do something cool. There is a watch out though as if you just get rid of something and don't replace it with something positive then it has the chance to creep back into the void that you have just created!
That is what this book is all about. Spend more time living in the moment and enjoying now and more time planning the future and creating an awesome future than you do dwelling in the past. This book is all about building a cool future and that is what we are going to put this shit down to do!
Are you ready to let go of the past? Are you ready to start moving forwards?
Your life today doesn't determine your future
Just because you are where you are doesn't mean you can't create an amazing future. We have enough examples and stories to prove that it is possible to go from a shit situation to an amazing one. I don't need to recount example after example of people turning their lives around. You know it is possible! You know we can do it.
I want you to say these next lines out loud for me. If you are in a public space like on the tube in London or in Central Park in NYC then even better as you get to step outside your comfort zone as you do it! This is going to be fun.
"My past doesn't equal my future. We have enough examples of people that have turned their lives around that I know it is possible for me too. I am ready to put my past behind me and start building my future. Get on with it Alan and tell me what to do next!"
Your action from this point on creates your future. You can change direction in an instant by doing things differently. You need to start taking action and making things happen.
I want you to say these next lines out loud for me. If you are in a public space like on the tube in London or in Central Park in NYC then even better as you get to step outside your comfort zone as you do it! This is going to be fun.
"My past doesn't equal my future. We have enough examples of people that have turned their lives around that I know it is possible for me too. I am ready to put my past behind me and start building my future. Get on with it Alan and tell me what to do next!"
Your action from this point on creates your future. You can change direction in an instant by doing things differently. You need to start taking action and making things happen.
I don't care about your past
In the politest possible way, I don't care about your past. That has already happened and we can't do anything about it. I care deeply about your future and you. Where you go from here, what happens next and your happiness.
I can't change all that shit that has happened in the past. I can help you put it down and move forward, but I can't change the past. As I type this ironically, the Back to the Future theme tune has started to play for me.
The interesting thing in that movie is when Marty McFly goes back to the past and changes things, the future starts to change and he gets erased! Maybe what happened in the past had to happen for you to be here right now ready to create your future. Maybe what happened in the past needed to happen for you to reach this point, maybe there is a lesson you need to learn from it. Maybe it was just shit and there was nothing to learn and it is time to get on with the next chapter?
Some of the most painful shit in my past had to happen for me to become the person I am today. We can't change the past, but we can use it to learn, fuel and motivate us. It can be a resource to create a brighter, more vibrant future.
The best thing about the past is that it is over. Gone. Finished.
Now it is time to start looking forward to the life you actually want to lead.
I can't change all that shit that has happened in the past. I can help you put it down and move forward, but I can't change the past. As I type this ironically, the Back to the Future theme tune has started to play for me.
The interesting thing in that movie is when Marty McFly goes back to the past and changes things, the future starts to change and he gets erased! Maybe what happened in the past had to happen for you to be here right now ready to create your future. Maybe what happened in the past needed to happen for you to reach this point, maybe there is a lesson you need to learn from it. Maybe it was just shit and there was nothing to learn and it is time to get on with the next chapter?
Some of the most painful shit in my past had to happen for me to become the person I am today. We can't change the past, but we can use it to learn, fuel and motivate us. It can be a resource to create a brighter, more vibrant future.
The best thing about the past is that it is over. Gone. Finished.
Now it is time to start looking forward to the life you actually want to lead.
Start where you are, take action and make shit happen
We are where we are. This is where we are going to build from. Now it is time to take stock of where we are today. We are where we are, let's own that position and then work to improve it.
Taking stock of where you are now
Welcome to this chapter's main exercise. Just imagine for a moment that you are on holiday in a foreign city, wherever that may be. you are in the middle of the city and and you know which restaurant you want to go to for dinner. A friend recommended the restaurant, but you don't know where it is.
What is the first step to finding the restaurant?
If have a smart phone you would probably type the name into maps and find it. You find the location on the map and then what is the question that comes next?
Where am I? You have to look for the blue dot on the map that shows you where you are. If you don't know where you are then how can you know which way to turn next. You have to know where you are before heading out otherwise you might be heading completely in the wrong direction!
We are going to start with an exercise to help you take stock of where you are right now. Some of you are going to use this as an opportunity to beat yourself up and be mean to yourself so I am going to set some guidelines to help us have a good experience of this exercise.
I am going to ask you to go through the following area of life and give yourself a score out of ten, write a few notes and any details you want to add. The purpose of this exercise is to help you connect with where you are now and then give yourself something to see the change over the coming years. Because there will be change. I can guarantee.
Here are the areas of life to explore and think about:
The first step to change is taking a good look at where we are. Sometimes this can be uncomfortable. On the Rebel Finance School we get people to measure there net-worth as a first step and sometimes this can lead to facing the music on debt and seeing that actually we are starting at a minus figure.
You have to have a good honest look at where you are so we can make a plan to get you where you want to be. So let's get honest, let's get uncomfortable and then we can put it all down and build into the future.
Do you want to know the best thing about this exercise? In five years time when you look back at it you will be shocked at the progress you have made and it will be cause to celebrate. There is one key message we need to look at before we move forward in the book.
To make life easier we have created a document for you to down load for this exercise and just fill in. The document does include some spoilers for what is coming up in the book next! I am so excited to be on this journey with you.
What is the first step to finding the restaurant?
If have a smart phone you would probably type the name into maps and find it. You find the location on the map and then what is the question that comes next?
Where am I? You have to look for the blue dot on the map that shows you where you are. If you don't know where you are then how can you know which way to turn next. You have to know where you are before heading out otherwise you might be heading completely in the wrong direction!
We are going to start with an exercise to help you take stock of where you are right now. Some of you are going to use this as an opportunity to beat yourself up and be mean to yourself so I am going to set some guidelines to help us have a good experience of this exercise.
- No being down on yourself - the key to this exercise is objectivity. We don't want to see things worse than they are as that doesn't help us and we don't want to see things better than they are otherwise we are just kidding ourselves. I know this is a challenge as being objective on your own life is no mean feat. So maybe you want to get some outside assistance. Do the exercise yourself and then ask a friend to help you and balance your view point.
- Honesty without self bullying - some of you are going to use this as an opportunity to bully yourself. I have nothing more to say that STOP. It is not needed. The idea is that we are where we are and we are just taking stock. No need to lament anything that has happened in the last.
- Use numbers where you can - these make it easier to measure without the bias of opinion. There are some key number that will help you. For health body fat percentage is one of the best measurements, for finances it is net-worth, and savings rate, for the others you can give yourself a score out of ten to show how you currently feel about the area (we can't really have a number for environment other than your opinion!
I am going to ask you to go through the following area of life and give yourself a score out of ten, write a few notes and any details you want to add. The purpose of this exercise is to help you connect with where you are now and then give yourself something to see the change over the coming years. Because there will be change. I can guarantee.
Here are the areas of life to explore and think about:
- Friends and family - do you feel connected to your family? Do you feel you have a good set of friends? Do you feel supported, loved and surrounded by people that challenge you positively?
- Love, romance, marriage - do you feel love in your life? How is your primary relationship? Are you giving and supporting? Is your partner giving and supporting? How much love do you feel?
- Finances - what is your net-worth? What is your savings rate? Do you feel you have enough? Are you working towards FI and know what percentage through the journey you are? How well do you know your personal finance numbers?
- Health and Fitness - what is your percentage body fat? Do you wake up full of energy? Are you vibrant and physically strong? Does your body support you with the energy you need to achieve your goals? Do you have more day or more energy?
- Career or business - how are you doing in your career and business? Do you feel like you are heading in the right direction? Are you earning what you want to earn (the answer is never yes, but how are you really doing?)? Are you working with people that inspire you? Do you feel energised from work or depleted?
- Personal development - are you learning? What was the last self-development book you read? Have you been on any courses recently? Are you learning and growing?
- Fun, living life - how much fun do you have? Do you do cool shit with friends when you can? Do you laugh and play games? What hobbies do you have? What do you do that brings you joy?
- Environment - how comfortable do you feel in the environments that you spend most of your time? (work and home) Does your environment inspire you? Do you love coming home? Are you excited to go to work? How do you feel about the environment around you?
The first step to change is taking a good look at where we are. Sometimes this can be uncomfortable. On the Rebel Finance School we get people to measure there net-worth as a first step and sometimes this can lead to facing the music on debt and seeing that actually we are starting at a minus figure.
You have to have a good honest look at where you are so we can make a plan to get you where you want to be. So let's get honest, let's get uncomfortable and then we can put it all down and build into the future.
Do you want to know the best thing about this exercise? In five years time when you look back at it you will be shocked at the progress you have made and it will be cause to celebrate. There is one key message we need to look at before we move forward in the book.
To make life easier we have created a document for you to down load for this exercise and just fill in. The document does include some spoilers for what is coming up in the book next! I am so excited to be on this journey with you.
The past: where were you 5 years ago?
The final part of this exercise for this chapter is to fill out the past section. For each of the 8 areas of life where where you five years ago? For some of us we were better off in certain areas of life five years ago and for others of us it will feel like night and day the progress you have have made.
The purpose of this part of the exercise is to help you see direction of travel. Let's say you rated your finances 5 out of ten 5 years ago and you now rate them 7 out of ten you can feel like you are making progress and let's just work on accelerating that progress. For others that come on the course you might rate your finances 7 out of ten five years ago and they are now a 4 out of ten and you feel like you have taken a step backwards.
This happens sometimes. All I want you to do is notice the trend and then use this as inspiration to make a change. If an area of life has gone backwards then we are going to turn that sucker around and get back on track.
Have a look through the different areas and answer the following question. You all know I love questions and this is one of the most powerful I have found
If I keep going like this where will I end up?
If you don't like the answer to this question then GOOD. Let's do something about it before you end up there. If you health has gone down over the last five years then let's turn it around, if your finances have gone down then let's turn it around.
If you like the answer to this question then use it to give you the power to keep going and press on towards your future!
The purpose of this part of the exercise is to help you see direction of travel. Let's say you rated your finances 5 out of ten 5 years ago and you now rate them 7 out of ten you can feel like you are making progress and let's just work on accelerating that progress. For others that come on the course you might rate your finances 7 out of ten five years ago and they are now a 4 out of ten and you feel like you have taken a step backwards.
This happens sometimes. All I want you to do is notice the trend and then use this as inspiration to make a change. If an area of life has gone backwards then we are going to turn that sucker around and get back on track.
Have a look through the different areas and answer the following question. You all know I love questions and this is one of the most powerful I have found
If I keep going like this where will I end up?
If you don't like the answer to this question then GOOD. Let's do something about it before you end up there. If you health has gone down over the last five years then let's turn it around, if your finances have gone down then let's turn it around.
If you like the answer to this question then use it to give you the power to keep going and press on towards your future!
De-coupling your future and your past
The final message of chapter 2 is this:
Just because shit has gone wrong in the past doesn't mean you aren't going to SMASH it out of the park this time.
We have all made mistakes in the past. If I looked at my past and thought that determined my future I would never have made it here. There are so many mistakes in my past, if I looked at that and thought WOW I am a screw up I am never going to be successful then I would not be writing this for you.
I actually see it completely the opposite way round. I look at my past and say to myself "you have made so many mistakes, you have learnt so many ways not to be successful your chance of getting it right this time is far higher! The more failures I have made, the more lessons I have learnt the more valuable I am to other people and the more likely I am going to succeed this time.
If you look back at your past and think about all the things that go wrong as reasons you can't make it you are in trouble. if you look back at your past and see all the things you have messed up (loosing money on crypto, being ripped off, being fired, failed relationships) as lessons and resources to do better in the future you are so well equipped to make progress.
It is time to take what we need to learn from the past, put that shit down and stride confidently into the future.
And this time we can do it together!
Just because shit has gone wrong in the past doesn't mean you aren't going to SMASH it out of the park this time.
We have all made mistakes in the past. If I looked at my past and thought that determined my future I would never have made it here. There are so many mistakes in my past, if I looked at that and thought WOW I am a screw up I am never going to be successful then I would not be writing this for you.
I actually see it completely the opposite way round. I look at my past and say to myself "you have made so many mistakes, you have learnt so many ways not to be successful your chance of getting it right this time is far higher! The more failures I have made, the more lessons I have learnt the more valuable I am to other people and the more likely I am going to succeed this time.
If you look back at your past and think about all the things that go wrong as reasons you can't make it you are in trouble. if you look back at your past and see all the things you have messed up (loosing money on crypto, being ripped off, being fired, failed relationships) as lessons and resources to do better in the future you are so well equipped to make progress.
It is time to take what we need to learn from the past, put that shit down and stride confidently into the future.
And this time we can do it together!
End of Chapter 2
Thoughts, comments and ideas
Help me tear this puppy to pieces! I want to make it better and the only way I can do that is with outside perspective. You! lol. There is a comment area below that you can leave me your thoughts and comments. If you spot something I have missed, if something made you angry, if something didn't work I need to know.
Thank you
I know life is busy so I have been thinking about how I can say thank you. When you leave me a comment below and help me develop the book, I will immortalise you in print in the acknowledgements section of the book. I want to acknowledge the people that helped me along the way!
Chapter 3 is coming soon here. Check back for the next chapter.
Thank you for helping me make this book be all it can be!
Thank you
I know life is busy so I have been thinking about how I can say thank you. When you leave me a comment below and help me develop the book, I will immortalise you in print in the acknowledgements section of the book. I want to acknowledge the people that helped me along the way!
Chapter 3 is coming soon here. Check back for the next chapter.
Thank you for helping me make this book be all it can be!
Disclaimer:
It appears that the Facebook comments aren't showing up for some people. I had a look into this and apparently Facebook blocks the comments section for people who aren't logged into Facebook on the current browser. This also means that if you are using a phone, you will need to be logged into Facebook on the browser, not just the app if you want to add a comment. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a fix for this.
It appears that the Facebook comments aren't showing up for some people. I had a look into this and apparently Facebook blocks the comments section for people who aren't logged into Facebook on the current browser. This also means that if you are using a phone, you will need to be logged into Facebook on the browser, not just the app if you want to add a comment. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a fix for this.