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Are you happy with the results you are getting in your life? Are you happy with your weight? Are you happy with your finances? Are you happy with how your business is running and growing? Do you look at your life and say, "This is awesome"?
If not then you need to change something. Sounds simple, doesn't it! Then why are so many people unhappy with their results and stuck?
At workshops, events and after the podcasts that I do, people approach me to ask for advice. They tell me their situation and then they ask how they can get the results they want. I always offer ideas, thoughts and solutions that have worked for me or others and I work to help them. I am genuinely shocked by the number of people that defend what they are currently doing, say change won't work for them and then go back to their old way of doing things! Let me give you some examples:
I am constantly amazed that people defend their choices and complain about their outcomes. Don't like your results? Don't defend your actions - change them!
One of the most important and uncomfortable things to do is to take complete ownership of your current situation. You are where you are because of what you have thought and done. Your current situation (good or bad) is your fault.
This can be a hugely tough one to swallow and one that I was not comfortable dealing with for many years. At school I was bullied by the other kids. Kids can be mean and they sure were to me!
Was the bullying my fault?
Whilst I can't control what kids did to me whilst I was younger I could have chosen my response and I could have chosen what I did afterwards. I did neither of these things. I became the victim and I blamed the other kids, and felt powerless.
I was young. I didn't know any better. It was incredibly painful and that victim mentality trapped me for many years.
Was the bullying my fault? No. But I can take ownership for the situation, my response, and who I spend my time with, and I then have the power to make changes and create the life I want.
Without ownership it is virtually impossible to make change and create different results.
Instead of things being too expensive, maybe we change the way we look at it and admit we don't earn enough. If we take ownership over the fact that we don't earn enough then we can do something about it and change jobs, start a business, or do something to increase our earnings. If we continually complain that things cost too much then we will be trapped by that because it is not our fault.
If you want something to change then the first step is to stop defending your current choices. The second step is to take ownership over your current situation. The third is...
Do something different
If you want different results then you need to do something different. Different from what you are doing and different from what everyone else is doing.
If you want the same results as everyone else then continue to do the same as everyone else. Average things lead to average results (except when it comes to index funds.)
What is average? Well, in the UK the Office for National Statistics very kindly works a lot of this out for us. Then the BBC summarise it nicely for us.
The average man works 39 hours a week and earns £28, 270 a year.
The average woman works 34 hours a week and earns £22,151 a year.
The five grocery items most likely to be in a UK shopping baskets are: semi-skimmed milk, sliced ham, box of cereal, some bacon and a bar of chocolate.
Only 29% of women and 39% of men do the recommended amount of exercise each week.
Do you think that if you eat those 5 things on average you are going to be slim and healthy? If you work out the average amount, are you doing to be fit and strong? If you do the same as everyone else, you will get the same results as everyone else.
I keep repeating to the people around me and the people on my course:
It sounds so simple, doesn't it?
I have spent the last two decades studying self-development and taking different actions to everyone else. It has been, at times, an awkward and uncomfortable journey as people judged me for my different choices BUT I am so happy I made them.
The last decade+ of doing things differently has landed results I could not have imagined and I feel like I am just getting warmed up. Doing things differently, learning from the outcomes, and pushing myself out there has led to an incredible life.
So why don't people change? Why is it a global pasttime to complain about our situations and do nothing about it? Why do people want to endlessly talk about the problem without doing anything?
Paying the price
One of my favourite quotes is:
You can have anything you want in life if you are willing to pay the price up front and in full
You can lose weight and get the body you want IF you are willing to pay for it in terms of diet and exercise. You can have the business you want IF you are willing to do the sales work, step outside your comfort zone, and go at it with reckless abandon. You can have financial freedom IF you are willing to save your money, invest and do it for a decade+!
The problem I encounter regularly is that the price is too high for most people. They want the outcome but they aren't willing to pay the price to get it.
What is the price of getting your dream? Can you define it?
Are you willing to pay the price up front and in full?
Will you keep paying the price for as long as it takes to achieve it?
One of the things I am working on right now is a book based on the Rebel principles. What is the price of becoming a published author?
I have just been speaking to friends of mine that have just done it and they spent an entire year writing their book and working endlessly on it! And there are two of them writing it!!!!
Am I willing to pay the price of a year of my life to get the book written and to a stage where it can impact people?
The price is not often financial. Most of the time the price is energy, effort, or getting out of your comfort zone.
If I want to be an author then I need to pay the price in full and up front. The price is my time, energy and effort over an extended period of time.
What do you want in your life, and are you willing to pay the price in full?
I have been complaining that I am overweight for the last few years and whilst I have worked on my diet I have not really focused on it. I have not been willing to pay the price to make the changes I need to.
I have taken ownership of the situation. I am the weight and body size I am because of the choices I have made.
I have yet to take the next step and really commit to change and pay the price to change. Yesterday I joined the gym and went for the first time. I have changed my diet and am working to eat fewer pancakes in America!
I am committing to change my body shape and size and getting stronger and fitter.
What I would love you to do from here is:
Tell me what you think, write a comment below, share it on Facebook, tell me more. I write this blog for you, to help you and to add value to your life, and I want to know if I am doing this.
Stay positive and make shit happen